July 20, 2019

Live Your Dream

Posted in true story tagged , , , at 1:31 am by Broken & Brave

I dream (literal dreams)—

that become reality, ever since I can remember…



July 19, 2019

Gentle & Kind

Posted in true story tagged , , , at 6:43 am by Broken & Brave

I remembered a story from when I went to get a pedicure/manicure a few years back. As I sat in my chair at the salon I watched this elderly couple come in together. I love to observe people. People are fascinating and peculiar and puzzling all at the same time and I truly adore humanity.

So this couple…


June 15, 2019

When Life Hits Hard: START SOMETHING!

Posted in health and wellness, leadership, true story tagged , , , , , , , , , at 8:23 am by Broken & Brave

Have you ever read Psalm 42 in its entirety? It’s the heart of young David being poured out to his God.

“Deep calls to deep

at the roar of your waterfalls;

all your breakers and your waves

have gone over me.

By day the Lord commands his steadfast love,

and at night his song is with me…” psalm 42:7-8

Deep calls to deep at the roar of your waterfalls. Wow. Can you feel that? Because I don’t just read it, I can feel it. If you have ever been in the surf of a beach—either on a board or body surfing the waves, you know what a swell can look like from underneath up close to it. Daunting. You don’t just see it lurch over you, you feel it coming, you hear it…just like David said, as a roar.

Have you ever been blind-sided by pain? Pain so deep you wondered where God is? Did he forget? Did he have something more important to do? Am I forgotten, or worse, forsaken? Why do we go through the trials we do? Why do some lead simple lives that are relatively uneventful while other live lives rich with activity and hardship? Life can bring drama, whether we signed up for it caused it or not, and it can feel like a tsunami swell headed straight toward us.

My husband and I have been apart of AdvoCare since 1995. This company impacted us supplement and nutrition/performance geeks 24 years ago. We both immediately fell in love with the products. I feel in countless ways AdvoCare was used by God to open up the marketplace and bring cutting edge nutrition in an era (the 90’s) when phytochemicals and their uses were being explored and discovered. Nutrition science was advancing at alarming rates. It was great. AdvoCare always stayed true to their word to improve the products as the science allowed.

We weren’t looking for it to be a business…that was something God did. We had been so impacted and our lives richly touched for the better we passionately shared with our family and friends who also experienced the same results we did. Before too long we were receiving calls from the company to congratulate us on our success and bless us. I had no idea what was happening. I just loved the products. But within a year I’d know myself to be pregnant with my first child. I was working two jobs (aside from our earnings in AdvoCare) and wanted the option to stay home. I kept praying for my husband to get a raise or hired as an athletic director somewhere (he was in Division 1 college athletics at the time). But every time I’d pray, I’d hear the Spirit of God say in a soft and peaceful voice, “AdvoCare”. In fact I continued to pray and finally after hearing the answer three times I also felt the Spirit quiet me to not ask anymore-AdvoCare was his answer.

Five children later we were still strong with AdvoCare and had built incredible relationships with people all over the country. AdvoCare is a true blessing to our life, and will remain to be so. The business structure may change, but the products remain. My earnings as commission won’t be in my bank account any longer the same way, but the friendships I keep. I will keep using and sharing and loving my AdvoCare. I want it that way. My God wants it that way, and I know Charlie, the founder of AdvoCare who passed away in 2001, he’d be honored by the Legacy we’ve all made.

The richness of leadership training and mentorship I received from AdvoCare is priceless! Charlie believed in building people (we build champions). And he put his money where his mouth was. Extraordinary leader and example. Mentorship from John C Maxwell and Leadership 2000. Norman Schwarzkopf, various sports heroes, Olympians, professional athletes and Andy Andrews, Jon Gordon, George W Bush (twice!), George and Barbara Bush, Bob and Elisabeth Dole, Alan Keyes, only to name a few! I gleaned so much from all of them. I learned a lot from Charlie himself.

So, we didn’t just loose an income, we lost a community, a culture, a family. Though the relationships remain, they will change just because. But God has used Charlie and his little Dallas based company to START SOMETHING.

And start something he did. We each, 100,000 distributors, are now being directed by God in different directions. Some remain all in AdvoCare building a retail business, some to other companies, some to nothing and some in full time ministry.

God gave us personally clear direction immediately. I am so grateful God didn’t make me wait in the hall on this one. The door closed suddenly, but God has directed.

John and I remain faithful to our AdvoCare brand. There is no doubt these products are good and are helping people. We will share them and use them. But while John will be as much support as he can be with AdvoCare Sports Advisory, I’m stepping out and trying my own to replace our income lost with DNA based nutrition. Anyone in nutrition knows this has been coming a while. We’ve come to the reality that we can use DNA testing to pinpoint specific nutrition needs for health and wellness and even fitness and weight loss goals. Cutting edge once again. So I am becoming like a two brand shoe store. I will share both product lines with my customer and clients for added blessing of finding the best fit for their needs (never mine).

John and I have always been a Holy Spirit Marketplace ministry operation. We do business as God leads. We get in peoples lives and help them mind…body…spirit. We love hard. We do life together. The name of my new business is ID Life. So far I am loving the product line. Compliments my other products very well. I’m nervous and excited. This is my baby. John has always been the leader. He has always taken care. I feel the Holy Spirit pushing me out of the nest to spread my wings.

So I am encouraged by David. He saw many and deep trials. He faced many giants, but he defeated every one.

I have faced many giants, and overcome. I am facing many giants right now, but I will overcome. I will stand firm and still and watch that tsunami wall of water as it comes for me turn into a drip of water right before me…unharmed. ~Nicole

“By day the Lord commands his steadfast love,

and at night his song is with me,

a prayer to the God of my life…

Why are you cast down, O my soul,

and why are you in turmoil within me?

Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,

my salvation and my God.”

Psalm 42:8 & 1

Visit my website at:


Sign up as a customer (free) and contact me and I can help customize your needs!

*any orders placed with IDLife will earn income for myself and this blog is my personal story and opinion/experience. I don’t make medical claims or income claims.

June 14, 2019

Edify. Encourage. Exhort: God can use dead things

Posted in Inspirational, true story tagged , , , , , , , at 6:43 am by Broken & Brave

The Lord has really been swirling my thoughts in my mind to King Solomon lately. . .

“King Solomon was greater in riches and wisdom than all the other kings of the earth. The whole world sought audience with Solomon to hear the wisdom God had put in his heart.” 1 Kings 10:23-24

Notice in this passage that the people came to hear his wisdom, not to see his riches. Solomon was as great in riches as he was in wisdom and vice versa. But it was His wisdom that brought him favor from distant lands who sent gifts to him and he was equipped to build a house for the Lord.

God is always a step or two ahead of us. Our minds are finite. Let’s back up a bit in this man’s story. Well, let’s back up to his father’s story-King David.

King David—a man who was a bit of a scoundrel when you look at his actions and choices. So what made him so special to the heart of God? His heart. Ultimately David desired God deeply and in purity. God can work with that. So David has messed it up with Bathseda. He got her pregnant and then tries to cover it up. Finally, when all other ideas failed, He places her husband out to the front lines of battle making her a widow so he could marry her. But something happened, Nathan the prophet came and told David this wasn’t good and that as consequence the baby was going to die. David was beside himself with grief. The scriptures say he wailed and wept day and night and didn’t eat. None of his servants could console his grief.

He prayed and prayed and prayed.

Then when word came the child had died, he got up washed his face and ate. His entire household was baffled. What was his reply? He considered that perhaps the Lord would relent and spare the child, but once he died he knew he was gone and couldn’t influence Gods choice. So he got up, bathed and worshipped some more.

“While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept. I thought, ‘Who knows? The Lord may be gracious to me and let the child live.’ But now that he is dead, why should I go on fasting? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me.” 2 Sam. 12:22

When we are in the midst of our deepest grief and our most intense battles God can be found still. In the stillness of our heart and the recesses of our mind we must pull to the forefront that God is always good. God will sometimes shut doors, allow dreams to die, business ventures to fail and relationships to become strained or even end, so He can gain a greater audience in our heart. We may already be intimate with Him, but He has designs on abundant rivers to flow of Pure Gold.

David comforted Bathseda and she conceived again. This time she gave birth to Solomon, the very one we began this devotion with.

What can we take away from this unusually sad story?

Sometimes you’ve just got to let the baby die (metaphorically speaking). Once it dies, don’t look back. God will meet every lack and make way for the preparation for your own personal Solomon. So hold onto your dreams in the bigger scene of life—but know that God will take down every giant in your life and will anchor you to His Golden Path. Do not mourn for what is no more. Cherish the wisdom you gained and know that God is decided upon your heart. When you burn purely and deeply for Him you’re going to win at whatever He wills for your life.

Hold tight. There is a fortress of goodness awaiting, a warehouse of wisdom and a story worth telling–

And they will come from miles around to hear your words.

Edify. Encourage. Exhort.

Wash your face, be happy, Worship.


June 12, 2019

Something Good Is Coming

Posted in true story tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , at 5:12 am by Broken & Brave

It’s Gods nature to consistently love on people who don’t expect to be loved.

You don’t have to like someone to effectively love them. You heard me. And then there are those you don’t like or dislike, you’re neutral. We are called to deeply love them also. Then there are those you know of and have heard about or have casual knowing, but don’t know. You don’t truly know anyone until you spend time getting to know them. Being around them, conversing, sharing thoughts, beliefs, life philosophies and just plain doing life together.

Loving people who aren’t “your people” concept is something I’ve been preaching for a decade or more and find it quite curious that most Believers have yet to grasp this. Maybe it is easier for some than others. I believe it’s because they struggle to like or even love themselves. Or maybe in some cases self love is a little over the top? Either way, I am fully aware that the Church in America is a completely wounded and bleeding Bride. It’s my honor and call to restore her to proper health. Did I ask for this assignment or purpose? No, I did not. In fact, I said, “No, thank you.”

In the natural I’m called to healing as a health professional and nutrition coach. In the spiritual I’m called the same. A call to heal for the entire frame. We are spirits with bodies.

The real us can’t be seen by us–only by God.

I have so many stories of bountiful encounters with the Spirit of God. In the budding years I saw things, knew things, received and was instructed. Still am, probably more so than in the beginning. It was a lot to take in, because over and over and over again the theme was the same. The message was the same. There is a root of Pride in the American Bride. But there is more…she is horribly, horribly bleeding. She is in need of healing. Likened in my dreams to over fed and out of shape super heroes who were walking around much like the Disney Pixar character, Mr Incredible when he first came out of retirement and discovered he had lost his physique and was out of shape. This Super Hero of Heaven was walking around leaving bloody footprints because she was so overwhelmed with grief, hurt, unforgiveness, brokenness and pride.

Hear my heart, Beloved. We have become so blessed and comfortable we have lost our edge. It didn’t happen with one generation, it happened with generation after generation becoming more and more self reliant because of the abundance of blessing we were afforded. We somehow forgot how to guard our hearts. We forgot how to forgive. We forgot how to walk in love. I’m not condemning–remember I am a Seer and as a Seer I only report what I’ve been shown. Those who have an ear let them hear.

Wake up Sleeping Giant.

God has equipped me with words full of moisture because they are like healing salve. I cannot show concern for who or who doesn’t understand my words or my moisture. My words are designed by God to caress a damaged Church and nurture her so she might be recessitated .

I have a mantle and it has come by enormous levels of fire and refinement. The blessing of the anointing is enormous, but so was the pain of preparation. God is respector of no one, I did not choose this calling, it chose me and cornered me and contended with me until I agreed. I am not my own–I am bought with a price. I honor an amazing Love with my life.

God’s love makes our feelings irrelevant. To become a committed and mature Believer means we understand that we are not our own. We have Grace and Freedom from temptation, but we have traded all of that in for a Mantle of Grace and Love. God is respecter of no man. We take His yoke upon our neck and live like He did. We lay ourselves down.

Who can you love, honor, and encourage today? You just may help another raise their own bar of personal dignity and self respect. So many walking wounded Warriors waiting to be set free.

“Take my yoke upon you, follow me, watch and see every captive set free. Who shall I send? Who will go for me?”

When you feel the waves billowing high…

Something good is coming.

When the shroud is like a cloud that won’t leave you…

Something good is coming.

When the waves and breakers crash over you…

Something good is coming.

When the flames fan and lick at your soul…

Something good is coming.

When the fire and heat is real and the pressure pounds against your head…

Hold on…

Something good is coming!

I feel something coming and what is about to be released from within cannot be held back by what goes on around. There is fire stirring within the soul. Something is stirring and I hear trumpets blowing. Stand back!

There is a flame, there is a fire and those who are consumed by Holy Fire…LOOK OUT!

We’re coming!


“The bolts of your gates will be iron and bronze,
    and your strength will equal your days.

‘There is no one like the God of Jeshurun,
    who rides across the heavens to help you
    and on the clouds in his majesty.
The eternal God is your refuge,
    and underneath are the everlasting arms.
He will drive out your enemies before you,
    saying, ‘Destroy them!’

Deut. 33:26-27

June 11, 2019

Christian. . . GO!

Posted in true story tagged , , , , , , , , , , , at 6:06 am by Broken & Brave

There is a Devourer. Does he know your name?

Many years ago, we had sold our home at rock bottom prices that were indeed scandalous. We then followed the continued lead of the Holy Spirit and proceeded to give away our earnings as well as pay off some medical debt from the birth of my child. But aside from this, we kept nothing for ourselves. We were All-In to what we had been called to. This seems like a great step of faith that would stir the gates of Hell and bring God glory. But I’m not sure if this wasn’t merely the starting point. The moment in time and space when the starting gates flew open on this great race of faith.

We proceeded to walk through a season that humbled me beyond anything comparable I had ever known. I was persecuted and scorned, shunned by other believers who couldn’t quite wrap their mind around anyone in America being called to such an extreme sacrifice. It was the most difficult season of my life. But many things happened in the years that quickly followed our exhilarating steps of faith obedience (God doesn’t just wake you up one day and ask something so large. He leads you to it through times and seasons of guidance and preparation…equipping in the gift of faith)…it seemed like every new day brought new and profound opportunities to sow seeds in individuals and in community.

Therefore he is able to save completely those who come to God through him, because he always lives to intercede for them.” Hebrews 7:25

Though the established Church didn’t seem to quite know what to make of it. Our actions had perplexed everyone’s experience with us being known as mature believers with a grounded sense of common sense, wisdom and stewardship. But this wasn’t about any of those things. God already knew our heart in that regard. This was about Faith. So though the Church was confused and stood a step back to muse our choices, we continued to hear the lead and God’s Voice. We saw witches leave covens and become set free. We saw people get set free from demonic strongholds and chains become unlocked and Believer’s who had been trapped in holding patterns become unstuck. The flow of the Spirit, amazing.

On one day, we stepped out of our car to get some lunch at a local sandwich shop. As we got out of the car a couple, male and female, were scuffling across the sidewalk. They appeared to be homeless. One walking slightly in front of the other and both looking at the ground—it was like they both suddenly stopped at the same time and one looked up at us and the other to the ground. The one who looked to us pointed his finger at us about 20 yards away. He said, in a loud voice,

“Christians! Christians! GO!”

Then they both looked down again and resumed their walking. It was super creepy, but I felt like I had just been paid the greatest compliment! The demons within the man knew who we were!

With all of this being said, I have amazing personal stories of miracle walking faith complete with signs and wonders. I have documented and written a book and am only waiting for God’s release to publish. It coming soon. . . But not yet.

Despite all this unconventional behavior for an American Christian, I still only feel I have just left the starting gate of this great faith call and assignment to Heal by vehicle of Faith, Hope and Love. I am a Sojourner. I am resilient. I am focused. I am strong. But I am not enough—But my God is, and that is more than enough. So every day I give another piece of myself away and fade away so all that is left of me is He.

Back in February we went to Israel. Amazing! One of the things I looked forward to most on this trip was getting baptized in the Jordan River. For me to think of standing in the waters just like my Lord did when he received the mantle of the Dove with love…breath taking. I prayed leading up to the trip for several months that God would descend on me in those waters and give me a greater portion, anointing and mantle of the Holy Spirit. I desired more of my Counselor and my Best Friend. He gave me that and more than I bargained for on that trip and my heart was fully decided. I actively sealed the whole deal by out loud recognizing what I had been given and thanking God right alongside the Pools of Bathseda. The Pools of Healing waters.

“One day the evil spirit answered them, “Jesus I know, and Paul I know about, but who are you?”

Acts 19:17

So, how about you? What is God calling you to? The road to Greatness came at a remarkable price that looked like stripes of crimson red. The bloody crown on His head was his honor and delight to wear. He suffered like a human, but was inspired by so much more. Heaven and the Holy Spirit held him through it all. And we can do the same. By Design, the Holy Spirit will equip you to tread on serpents, overcome ridiculous odds and carry peace and glory along the way.

If you have countless oppositions in your life, you may be doing it right if they come despite obedience to God. The gates of Hell and it’s armies just may be affected by you. Maybe they know you? Do you? Don’t forget who you are. He carried a scar so you could wear his mantle and crown.

“The bolts of your gates will be iron and bronze,

and your strength will equal your days.” Deut. 33:25

I believe the Lord is raising up an army of un-conventional believers who the dignified (proud) Church would frown upon and call misfit or unqualified. He will humble the proud and give us a voice that is quite loud. Let’s use it victorious and in unison to flood the courts of Heaven.

“For this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, declares the Lord: I will put my laws into their minds, and write them on their hearts, and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.” … AND I WILL BE THEIR GOD, AND THEY SHALL BE MY PEOPLE.” Hebrews 8:10

I hope my post brought a new vigor and confidence to your roar. Your lions mane is your glory. Like the covering of a King. The King of the Pride is by your side. Let’s become undignified!


May 25, 2019

Do It Anyway~

Posted in Prayer of blessing, true story tagged , , , , , , , , at 6:22 am by Broken & Brave

Do it anyway—
Even when it’s not perfect.

Excelling is excellent.

Being raised by parents who instilled something excellent and what that might look like—a truly priceless gift. I wouldn’t change it for anything. Not anything! It is in fact, excellent.

I’ve always had, as long as I can remember, a strong internal fortitude to do well. Not competing kind of well, just well. I don’t like making mistakes. Nobody does, but some shake it off faster than others.

I’m not suggesting that everyone who does to high degree of self standards is as I am, but I know that I have struggled in the past, and once and while still do, with the idea of going ahead and doing something anyway if I can’t do it well.

Did I try hard enough?

Did I communicate effectively enough?

Did I Love hard enough?

Did I…Did I…Did I.

Death by over analysis!

But something has happened over the years—God has engaged me and lead me to do things without being fully prepared. He began in my twenties when I was placed in situations where I noticed that what was being done around me…I could do that! It wasn’t me being critical or negative at all, it was a blessing because what I saw wasn’t excellent, but it wasn’t bad either, but God blessed it. So I began to learn to try and since then I’ve not looked back, but have always struggled with the desire to hold back.

I have had and am currently having a season so full of disparaging circumstances it is all a bit too much to manage.

In those situations in real life I find it best to just say nothing. Do your best, but don’t try to explain anything. Let whoever think whatever (even when what they are thinking is untrue).

Just keep getting better.

Just keep doing what God has equipped and asked you to do.

I read a devotional today that just pulled it all together and inspired my pen. So here’s my two cents for today, I hope it proves priceless to you.

Doing things with excellence, having a high personal standard of character, giving your best, does not have to be the same as perfectionism. It doesn’t matter how well you do a job. Sometimes we juggle a lot and it’s out of our control, we can’t take anything off our plate, so we rest because we know God is the one blessing our efforts.

Sometimes we speak with love and show kindness, but the recipients either don’t want it or reject it.

Sometimes we do our best, toward excellence, but it just isn’t enough.

Everyday, try your best knowing that your best may look a little bit different every single day. Yesterday’s best may look different from today’s. Shake it off. It’s alright.

As long as you keep trying and most importantly keep obeying the Spirit of God. Then you don’t need to worry about the outcome, God’s got it. You don’t need to worry about those who don’t get you or misrepresent you. God’s got it.

You don’t need to “kill” yourself to achieve at high levels or to please the unappeasable, God holds it.

God has been asking me to write everyday and increase posting in my social pages. Sometimes He asks for a lot of writing. Sometimes He tells me to pull back and feed little. On high volume days it is sometimes hard to have enough time to write a blog I can be proud of. My website is taking longer than I thought to finish. It’s a long story, but for several years I’ve been reduced to doing all of my writing on my phone. If you even knew what an added challenge that was. So many times despite rigorous editing typographical errors slip. Not excellent. But God knows what He’s doing. So I write anyway. I write with the knowledge it has all been by His Design. Somethings aren’t forever, but they are for now and you’ll find ways to get through it with perseverance, patience and ultimately–His Power.

In life, some will think your more wonderful than you feel you deserve. Some will think far less of you than you truly deserve. And some will love you and want to know you and have you in their life. God can have His perfect plan, but all along He has been wonderful about giving the choice. You can’t make others desire your company any more than you can be perfect. You can’t have an absolute perfect career without roadblocks, obstacles and glitches.

We all have problems, some manage them better and some don’t. Either way, do what you can and do it anyway. It may not be perfect, but it will be done.

The key my friends is to know who you and are and whom you belong to. When you know who you are you realize that being you is wonderful. And others want you.

I notice many people rationalize their hearts. Instead, may I suggest start realizing you’ve been perfectly designed by the Perfect One. He works with all of our rough spots, bumps and even our bruises and scars. He’s the one who blesses everything.

The second it becomes about anything else, it’s not of Him.

So do it anyway, even when it’s not perfect.


“And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” Phil. 1:6

Prayer of Blessing~

You are perfectly loved by this Perfect Love. Hand in glove this dove, pristine white, pursues your heart infinitely like the band of gold. He is eternal. He is pure. He is radiant and He thinks you are wonderful. So be held. He healed. Be whole.

“Be who you are and be that well.” Frances de Sales

May 18, 2019

Internal Navigation

Posted in Devotional, true story tagged , , , , , , , , , at 7:39 am by Broken & Brave

Holy GPS!

Have you ever gotten lost? Ever had plans fail or the unexpected happen? Of course you have, we all have. Especially if you have children!

Early in my walk with God, I mean when it truly became my faith and my relationship, I was in my twenties and I would lie in bed at night and just talk to Him. I would share my heart. I’ve always been a bit of a meek personality. If you are meek or shy at all you understand that small intimate groupings are comfortable for us. We like them. I like them. But if there is one really loud person or strong personality it is all it takes to be still and quiet and not speak. It is easy to be dominated by the person who talks the most. But when I would lie with my Lord He would listen to my heart and soul and I could speak everything within my hearts walls and he would listen to it all. No interruptions. No instructions. But I could feel His love. It was in this place of prayer I began to feel him stronger and then discern him correspond back to my soul. I kept feeling it over and over He would say, “I Am guiding your path.” Sometime after this repeated theme began I had a woman tell me that God wanted her to tell me He is guiding my path.

He is guiding your path.

He never leads you to something He won’t carry you through. Lie in his arms and share your point of view. He is listening and attentive and concerned for you. He wants to guide your path, too. ~Nicole

“Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” Isaiah 30:21

May 13, 2019

Honor and Duty

Posted in true story, women of the bible tagged , , , , , , , , , at 6:45 am by Broken & Brave

Esther had attributes that would make any woman great. She possessed humility, wisdom, compassion and courage. I love reading about Esther.

Her life brings questions to my mind I will never know the answer to. Esther received the royal treatment. A common Jewish girl who found herself wearing a crown and married to the king. Esther may or may not have been interested in this title or role-but God gave it to her because he knew she would carry out completely the assignment he required for her.

She may not have understood what God was up to. She may have even begged to be hidden from view-

but God knew what to do and so did her relative, Mordecai, who was the only earthly father she ever knew.


We can learn so much from the life of Esther. She may have struggled with her calling in life. She may have wanted to hide or run away. But she trusted her Father and she did as he said and it turned out well for her in the end she brought empowerment back to her people.

God’s got things for you to do that you may not always want to do or understand. Trust his lead and watch everything work out in the end as your eyes behold…you were born for such a time as this. ~Nicole

“O my people, trust in him at all times. Pour out your heart to him, for God is our refuge.” Psalm 62:8

Exhortation of Blessing~

Go forth this day knowing beyond any shadow of doubt, that God’s thoughts toward you run deep and not a day would be complete without His Tender Arm reaching down and fondling your heart. He makes every crooked place straight. He is the Keeper of every Gate and holds the keys to everything. He is not loud. He is not proud, but He is besotted and His eye amplified on you–His glorious prize. Allow the Lord to be the soul possessor of your heart and soul. He will guard your mind. He will throb your heart. He will soothe all that chaffs you. You will not be wind blown, but you will be a wind song and become the anthem and glory of soul. God is your impenetrable shield of Hope and His Word is whispering sweet somethings to you. Believe Him for your worth. Believe Him for the wealth He treasures you for. Believe His countenance for you is soft. Believe He is grateful He hung on a Cross to love and to rescue you.

You, Beloved, are worth it.

Be encouraged…

May 11, 2019

I have this clock…

Posted in true story tagged , , , , , , , , , at 11:47 pm by Broken & Brave

I have this clock…

One of the things I adore and cherish more than probably anything is my friendship with heaven. How God cups me in His Hands and holds me close is ever so special. I can’t describe it to anyone and I know if I dare try—my words would fail to supply the equal provocation of soul required. He is my epiphany and without Him my pen, my life, my soul would fail to strike this glorious harmony.

Intimacy of the Spirit of God is the fruit, but the obedience has been difficult. God has required and asked enormously difficult things of me. He knew all along I would try my best to obey His requests and submit to Him fully. I’ve always desired to yield.

He has taken His time with me, just as a proper Lover of Soul should. He’s been patient. He has waited for me. He has wooed me. He has spoken words that stroke my soul. He has tantalized my heart and beaconed my desire for more. Once you’ve stepped into the River and swam to the bottom you find it difficult to gasp for anything except the air He Breathes.

About my clock. There is a gorgeous story close to my heart about the faithfulness and lovingness of my Holy Father. Many years ago—I am guessing around 2010. I was in a local shopping center that caters to local shop owners. There are no chain stores in this center and the stores are higher end merchandise. I walked past the window of a clock store and in the window was a gorgeous piece of art that immediately captured me. When you see something that perfectly expresses your personality and style the connection is immediate and magnetic. That is how this piece, this tall, free standing clock, grabbed me. It was not a grandfather clock, but it stood tall like one. It was hand painted in warm tones and accented hues. It was so perfect for me.

I don’t feel that way often about a piece of furnishing. I like beautiful and quality things. I am ever drawn to the unique and different. However, I am also a minimalist by nature and so splurging or “needing” isn’t something I generally do. I’m actually quite frugal.

But this clock…

I saw the price and knew it was out of my range. Not only was it expensive, I couldn’t afford it. So I prayed.

I right there in the store window silently asked God that if I was seeing this clock by His Design then He would make a way for me to own it. If He wanted it for me no one else would buy it, for it was one of a kind (in this store anyway). Then—right there on the spot, the Spirit sank this word down into my chest. I would not only be blessed with this clock, I heard a word planted in my mind that suggested a very specific dollar amount I would purchase it for.

I know I wrote the amount in my journal, but my journals are packed away right now and I have so many (volumes) it would take quite a bit of time to locate the actual entry and dollar amount. But it was that specific. I receive lots of words of knowledge, but dollar amounts are not something I’ve received often. I held onto that word for dear life. I believed it and knew that clock would be mine.

A few weeks passed and I would check back. It was still in the window and the price had been reduced. The shop owner was moving locations and wanted to move as much merchandise as possible before the move. My clock was officially on sale—but not for my price. So I prayed again marking it “reserved” by Heaven and believed some more as I left it there in the store.

Again—a few weeks pass and I go back again. This time I see the price reduced again and don’t you know for the amount I had received from the Lord. This clock had been reduced to 1/3 of the original asking price. It was still very expensive, but I knew it was mine and I went home to fetch my husband (he likes to think he is my Sugar Daddy—and who am I kidding, he is!) So I took my husband and my checkbook and I bought myself that clock. The owner of the shop kept saying how surprised he was that it hadn’t sold and how ever was he letting it go for such a great price? I thanked God all the ride home. I knew exactly why.

But wait, there is more….

God has been cultivating the garden of my heart for a lot of years. I have sown decades of seeds through countless tears. I have given and given and when I thought surely I had given enough- He would ask me for more. He put a book in my hands about the life of Rees Howells and finally there were words to describe my suffering. I have been through things, many things, not just one isolated event, that I have never penned to my blog and I probably won’t. At least not until I reach the other side.

But God used it all to sew something deep within my heart.

I’ve known my entire life that God was reserving me for something I did not know or understand. It has been the sense of His closeness that has sustained me through horrific trials and unnatural circumstances of suffering. My full testimony is very peculiar. Because my suffering for year after year after year which grew to become decades—was because of my obedience.

I would ask of my Lord, “how would anyone want to obey you if they heard my story? So unusual”.

But He would reply every time, “I am going to use your voice.” His sweet comfort in the night always told me every little thing would be alright. And I somehow believed and knew one day it would be.

So with this, God has used the story of Mary, the most wonderful mother in all of history, to teach deep truths and discipleship to me. It has been Mary all along my heart was drawn to. There are special women of faith in the Bible I cherish, but none other greater than Mary. God has elaborated through the scriptures in great detail the nature of her call and the pleasure of her response to her King. I have no doubt of the special place she holds in heavens heart. Hear me now, I’m not Catholic. I do not consider her immaculate or deity. But special…I don’t know if many can get more special to God than she. That is why He chose her.

Mary gave it all for Him. Her dignity. Her pride. Her honor. Her purity. Her reputation. Her family. Her community. Her body. She did it all for Him, the most faithful One of all.

So I love Mary. I admire her more than any other woman in the Bible. When you have a testimony so difficult to understand God helps by giving you an example in someone like Mary—misunderstood by every Israelite in the world. Misunderstood, yet not hard to understand. A true touch and mark of the Father’s Hand.

If my clock wasn’t special enough to me–

How God spoke it.

How He provides for it, for there is a story there as well of His perfect timing of income.

How he made a way and saved His promise to me for me and how I received it.

Yes—if all is this weren’t Dear enough… there was more. Because my God thinks of everything.

When I got my clock home and found the perfect spot. I opened the back to set the time and discovered an added feature among the pieces to correct the time. Apparently, my sweet and precious clock possessed the ability to chime on the hour every hour and I had two choices for my chime. One was London Bridges…and the other ~

Ava Maria.

You better believe I burst into tears when I saw this. But God…my God! How could He love me so dear?! He knew all along when I had no idea that I would love this clock and feel His Love in its blessing and I would be reminded every single time it would chime how special He thoughts toward me.

Happy Mother’s Day to the most glorious woman I could ever admire. I know in Heaven I will be consumed with God…but I can’t wait to meet this pure and radiant beauty one day.



And, yes, I wept the entire time I wrote this blog. Thank you God for the faithful reminder of how you love…

What an honor to be broken for you. I am smitten beyond recognition.

“But the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary; you have found favor with God.” Luke 1:30

Though you cannot see the beauty of the hand painting with my daughter and I blocking its view–this is my clock…


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